Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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