As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
