Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
