I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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