There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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