Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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