it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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