I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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