i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
