when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
