Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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