So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
