ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
