You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
