problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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