you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
