Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
