Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
