this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A bitchslap is in order.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
