I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I want a musical about memes.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
