what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
