I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
