that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
