why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
