the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
