Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
