Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
