His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
COCAINE IS GR8
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
