I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
