I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
