wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
