I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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