Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
