I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
