We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
