My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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