College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
