Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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