you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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