Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
