i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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