are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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