oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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