I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I faked an abortion last night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
