and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
