I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
