i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
