I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
