please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
