you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
