So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
