We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
